Free Stuff!
It's all free! Tell your friend(s)!
#1: SODVENT!
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I posted a lot of free stuff during December 2016 and called it Sodvent.
Maybe you'll enjoy some of it. Share it around!
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#2: AN ANY-YEAR CALENDAR!
That's right - Astonishing Sod's Any-Year Calendar is FREE to download...
What's more, it's PRE-FILLED with all your appointments and reminders! And if that's not enough, you can even draw your own pictures in the frames provided... Still not enough for you? Well, it even tells you what to draw! Save (300Kb), print (14 pages) and enjoy a wonderful year filled with magic and delight! 
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#3: A BIRTHDAY SONG!
Listen to and download "Hoopy Booty Too Yoo", which is a birthday song! And I made it!
You'll be glad to know that it's waaaay better than "Happy Birthday", which - let's face it - you can't even dance to. If you or someone you know have ever considered having a birthday, this is the only song onto which it is worth getting your freak. 100% free and suitable for all sizes of contemporary human. Hoopy booty! Give it to everyone and help rid the world of the tyranny of traditional birthday songs! 
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#4: ANOTHER SONG: PUMPING KRILL THROUGH A TUNNEL OF BONES!This is my entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2027. It's sure to win.
Lyrics: Yo I've been pumping krill through a tunnel of bones, Leaving flies in no-fly zones, Lost a phone on a hill of trombones, Got my ass on backwards and I'm moonwalking forwards, Tied a jellyfish statue to a bungee cord, Drove a ghost train into a maternity ward, With a goose and a tomato and a replica sword, Took a carpet to a pet shop, bought it a car, I've eaten twenty balloons and they went straight to my hips, Got a revolving tattoo of a canoe on my lips, Took a holographic dog, fed it some zips, Been busy making bees make a maize bead business, I bought a magical sausage from a mechanical mouse, Made a political gesture in the Opera House, Convinced an elephant that it was a giant woodlouse, Collected money for charity, spent it all on a rhyming dictionary.
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#7: EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE!
40 believable excuses for those times when you don't bother to leave in time, because let's be honest, you were either playing Tetris or thinking impure thoughts about Tetris. How to use: Print, cut along the dotted lines, glue each card to a snail, race the snails along a 50 centimetre track and use the excuse that's glued to the snail that finishes last. Warning: Do not use the same excuse twice with the same person, unless you're wearing a disguise. [ this is also included in the Sodmas Pack! ]
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#8: THE SODMAS PACK!
A whole bunch of free stuff, for the perfect Sodmas party! Includes 8 PDFs, which are as follollollows:
- A Merry Sodmas: what's in your Sodmas Pack
- Sodmas jokes
- A Sodmas card
- The Sodmas Game
- Sodmas Recipes
- Sodmas Badges
- Excuses For Being Late to the Sodmas party
- What Will We Do Tonight? – plenty of ideas for party activities
- A Merry Sodmas: what's in your Sodmas Pack
- Sodmas jokes
- A Sodmas card
- The Sodmas Game
- Sodmas Recipes
- Sodmas Badges
- Excuses For Being Late to the Sodmas party
- What Will We Do Tonight? – plenty of ideas for party activities
[ GET IT HERE! ]