THOUGHTS AT CHRISTMAS TIME.
- Funny how Mary and Joseph had no problem booking a room in March.
- Santa’s greatest fear? Chest and nuts roasting on an open fire.
- My favourite thing about Christmas is always the Negativity.
- I wonder how many people Santa would have to slaughter before all the goodwill dissipated.
- 2034: Xmas merges with Xbox and becomes Xmax.
- On Christmas morning, Santa gets a phonecall from the workshop saying, ‘Elves have left the building.’
- In the North Pole, elf accountants use presentages.
- Next time, start your letter with “Dead Santa” (just to see if he’s paying attention).
- At Christmas, rappers spend ages repping their presence.
- Mary’s boy child, Jesus Christ, was born on Christmas hay.
- Christmas is to the other 364 days as Santa Claus is to the other 364 men who break into your home each year.
- I wish it could be Christmas every second day.
- My favourite prequel: The Large Portion Of Cheese Before Christmas
- My evil aunt used to give us fabrics for Christmas. One year, she stared at me and said, 'It’s curtains for you.’
- If you keep chewing the scenery, you'll eventually poop a Christmas tree.
- Can't we make room for a second Santa Claus, to help the first billion?
- A god is for life, not just for Christmas.
Featured in the Sodvent Calendar.