A HOT DATE.
6:00pm
I just breaded, crushed, pleated and greatened my hair, feinted my nails, axed my legs, pucked my eyebrows and policed my toenails.
6:20pm
Put some mouse in my hair, rushed my teeth, appled my foundation and lossed my teeth.
6:28pm
Put on my sockings, put on a brasserie, put on my knockers, put on my errings, slipped on a pair of hoes, piked a dress and called a tax.
6:37pm
Just remembered to save under my arms.
6:43pm
Just fund my purse, let the fat in a hurry, hoped in a cab and gave erections to the diver.
6:55pm
I’ve realised my date hasn’t tuned up yet.
7:01pm
Just had a sip of win, flirted with the water and ordered a starer.
7:10pm
Just wet to the toilet, then at some bread. I’ve asked to see the men again.
7:13pm
I ordered the three ben salad and gobbled some pawns.
7:16pm
Just glanced at the cock again and asked for another potion of scamp.
7:24pm
He’s still not her. Have considered spending the night in the bra. Left an angry massage on his phone.
7:32pm
Just spilled vag all over myself and mopped my beast with a clot.
7:35pm
I just found out I’m at the wrong plaice! Threw some ash on the table, tanked the water and ran down the rod to the Bisto.
7:42pm
Just shat at the wrong table.
7:43pm
Just shat at the right table.
7:44pm
We just had an awkward cat. Have noticed he has a nervous witch.
7:47pm
Just got distracted by the size of his male - his pate is overblowing. Ate a load of chaps to take my mind off thongs.
7:52pm
Just did a fake laugh at his joe. Am wondering how anyone could end up this boing. Yawed out loud and pretended I was swinging.
7:59pm
I’ve told him I’m a Lira, even though I’m actually a Caner. Have even pretended to like free jizz.
8:02pm
Just remembered the massage I left on his phone! Have decided to steal his phone during a game of tootsie.
8:04pm
Just occidentally kicked him in the bells. Deleted the massage when he lumped off to the toilet. Nothing is gong as plant tonight.
8:09pm
Glanced at the cock again - I have to stop dong that.
8:11pm
Just realised I was crying with a mouth full of beard. Humped the water in the clock as he hinded me some issues.
8:13pm
Just told the other customers to muck themselves and left without my goat.
I just breaded, crushed, pleated and greatened my hair, feinted my nails, axed my legs, pucked my eyebrows and policed my toenails.
6:20pm
Put some mouse in my hair, rushed my teeth, appled my foundation and lossed my teeth.
6:28pm
Put on my sockings, put on a brasserie, put on my knockers, put on my errings, slipped on a pair of hoes, piked a dress and called a tax.
6:37pm
Just remembered to save under my arms.
6:43pm
Just fund my purse, let the fat in a hurry, hoped in a cab and gave erections to the diver.
6:55pm
I’ve realised my date hasn’t tuned up yet.
7:01pm
Just had a sip of win, flirted with the water and ordered a starer.
7:10pm
Just wet to the toilet, then at some bread. I’ve asked to see the men again.
7:13pm
I ordered the three ben salad and gobbled some pawns.
7:16pm
Just glanced at the cock again and asked for another potion of scamp.
7:24pm
He’s still not her. Have considered spending the night in the bra. Left an angry massage on his phone.
7:32pm
Just spilled vag all over myself and mopped my beast with a clot.
7:35pm
I just found out I’m at the wrong plaice! Threw some ash on the table, tanked the water and ran down the rod to the Bisto.
7:42pm
Just shat at the wrong table.
7:43pm
Just shat at the right table.
7:44pm
We just had an awkward cat. Have noticed he has a nervous witch.
7:47pm
Just got distracted by the size of his male - his pate is overblowing. Ate a load of chaps to take my mind off thongs.
7:52pm
Just did a fake laugh at his joe. Am wondering how anyone could end up this boing. Yawed out loud and pretended I was swinging.
7:59pm
I’ve told him I’m a Lira, even though I’m actually a Caner. Have even pretended to like free jizz.
8:02pm
Just remembered the massage I left on his phone! Have decided to steal his phone during a game of tootsie.
8:04pm
Just occidentally kicked him in the bells. Deleted the massage when he lumped off to the toilet. Nothing is gong as plant tonight.
8:09pm
Glanced at the cock again - I have to stop dong that.
8:11pm
Just realised I was crying with a mouth full of beard. Humped the water in the clock as he hinded me some issues.
8:13pm
Just told the other customers to muck themselves and left without my goat.
Added on May 10 2012.
Originally written and posted in real time on Twitter, then transferred to Tumblr.
Copyright 2011 Astonishing Sod.
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